Romantic love usually begins based on some form of attraction and grows relative to how we feel when we are around this other person. How we feel when we are together will largely be determined by how completely our individual emotional needs are being met. A big part of what it is to ‘ fall in love’ has to do specifically with how we feel about ourselves within the context of the relationship. As an individuals needs are being met, within an exciting ‘dating type’ atmosphere, that individual starts to feel the euphoria of ‘falling in love’. As these expressions of love are reciprocated a beautiful continuous cycle begins.
As love grows, it will become less self centered and more sacrificial. As you make sacrifices to meet each other’s needs, you and your spouse demonstrate the depth of your love. Also, love will constantly be renewed and developed as these individual emotional needs are being met, and consequently, as a couple you will grow in love.
Ultimately though, love is a decision, a commitment to put another’s needs ahead of your own. When two people can come together and unite in this decision… the feelings follow.
A trick I learned somewhere along the way is to insert my name in the verse below, everywhere I see the word love, or it, referring back to the word love. This will help you determine how well you are doing. By the way don’t beat yourself up, a perfect score isn’t possible.
1Corinthians 13:4-8 (NIV
Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It is
not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs.
Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always
trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. Love never fails.
We all desire to be loved, but for most women the need for love is at the core of who they are and how they perceive themselves. For many women, indeed probably most, all of their emotional needs are subsumed in just one… love. However, the way a woman receives love is multifaceted and can be somewhat complicated. Women, generally speaking, tend to view virtually everything their husbands do or say through an ’emotional love filter’ as an act of love.
For example: A woman might be moved emotionally watching her husband play warmly with her children. When he plays with the children, she sees a loving tender side of her husband affecting the lives of those she loves, and she interprets that emotionally as an act of love for her and the children; and therefore an extension of who he is as a man, and who they are as a couple.
This example illustrates what is usually a common difference in the way men and women tend to think. Where women typically view much of the interactions between her and her husband as acts of love, the husband typically compartmentalizes. A man seeing his wife play with the children might consciously make the estimation that she is a good mother, but would not likely acknowledge such an intricate emotional connection.
If virtually everything a man does or does not do to please his wife can come together to create a ‘love based’ atmosphere within that relationship, it then follows that the atmosphere of the relationship is highly dependent on his actions or in-actions. She may ask herself: “by his actions and his words, is he pursuing me, fighting to win me?” “Am I his priority?”
When a woman’s husband takes on activities that do not involve her, (hobbies, etc) she may interpret these new pursuits as evidence that she is not as important to him as are those activities, since he would otherwise be spending that time with her.
Men where are you spending your time? Where are you spending the best of your energy and emotion… it belongs to your wife
The information on this page were taken from The discovery Game
booklet that is sold with the The discovery Game.