Most everyone gets married because they are in love. The excitement for “forever” is palpably felt as the wedding day approaches. But after a time, little issues and irritations sometimes arise. Left unchecked, these annoyances fester and become real problems. Frequently, when trouble comes, one or both parties, pull away from the other. So, just when they need to draw close to one another, so as to solve the problem, because they are hurt or angry, they do the opposite. At times like this, a couple needs to seek couples therapy. The problems are often not as great as they seem. Frequently, the biggest problem in the relationship is the filter through which each individual interprets the words and actions of his or her partner. What is needed is an outside, objective, “referee” who does not suffer from the distortion of that filter. This “referee” acts as the marriage, or couple’s, therapist. Sometimes this “referee” is a wise friend; sometimes a pastor is sought, and sometimes a trained therapist is consulted. All have their place. The important thing is: when troubles come, don’t let it continue to fester. Seek help from someone who will fairly mediate between you.